Growing-up isn’t easy and lately I’ve found that the hardest part of growing-up is losing friends.
I never envisioned myself as the type of person that would wind-up losing or growing apart from friends as they got older, especially this early on in life. I always imagined that most my friends and I would all remain very close well into at least our early 40’s and then remain fairly close up until death.
I also grew-up thinking that my best friends would be my truest and most constant companions in life, but after moving across the Tri-State several times, transferring colleges one-too-many times, and deciding to live with strangers in Beantown, (I had no say in moving and I didn’t have many options regarding housing in Boston), I’ve realized just how truly hard it is to maintain a best friendship.
And ya know what the worst part about this is? I often try to make myself available within reason and am almost always willing to call, text, IM or e-mail those nearest and dearest to me, but so many of my so-called best friends have either erased me from their lives entirely or avoided me because they were upset that I was unable to meet them in the City or something, or because they’re at really distressing points in their respective lives where they no longer seem to have time for me or anyone else but themselves.
Still, to be fair, there are many friends that I’ve neglected myself, but your closest and oldest best friends should be the type of people where there’s no need for either of you to make an effort to maintain things. You just should.
Sure life’s more complicated than when we were all adolescents, but weekly or bi-weekly phone calls aren’t that difficult. Waiting a few months to meetup in N.Y.C. shouldn’t be that hard of a thing to commit to. Planning to live together shouldn’t be that stressful. Like, these things are all understandably challenging to navigate at first when entering the “Adult World”, but it shouldn’t take years, right?
Anyway, if you have a best friend or a group of best friends or whatever, please do your best to communicate with them or at least bring them up when relevant or something so that you don’t forget about them and you let others know how much they mean to you.